Listening

Or "Repeat" Listening
I'm re-publishing an entry I wrote last year at this time.
Out of curiosity, I went back to exactly a year in my own archives, to see what I had written then. It was much nicer out, weather-wise than it is this week of 2010, since it's cold rain and snow on the ground(but melting into a mucky mess) today.

***from Feb. 24, 2009
Today I had my annual visit to the eye doctor.
As usual, I had to wait about a half hour there (even though I was right on time at 10:15), before I was called in to see Dr. Z. I guess that isn't so bad, considering this is the only one of my doctor's or dentist's offices I ever have to wait long in for an appointment.

Anyway....it wasn't a bad visit after the boring wait--nothing to make you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. But, I completely forgot that they put those drops in your eyes to dilate them so they can test them. And of course, it had to be a blindingly bright and sunny day out there, so even with sunglasses, it was difficult to see once I left the office. I drove straight home--not too bad with the visor down and my sunglasses on.

Once I reached home, I realised I was hungry and since the kitchen was kind of dark, I found it easy enough to manage to heat up some soup. Since it was so nice out and I didn't feel the cold(the wind had died down from the gale like gusts of yesterday) I decided to try eating my lunch outside on our sunny south facing deck. With the sun being stronger this time of year, it is often comfortable enough to sit there around noon, wearing a jacket, but without any hat or gloves. I have done it in the past. And I felt like I needed the sun's warmth on my face and body today.

I dragged a dining chair out there, and even put the dog's bed out next to the chair so Jewel could join me. With her black fur, she heats up nicely in warm sunshine.
It was as warm as I had hoped it would be. Even though the temps at the weather station said a high of 34*F(around 1*C), it felt much, much warmer, with the sun soaking into the house wall directly behind my chair. It is as if we have a whole different microclimate in our backyard because it is at the bottom of a hill, protected by tall fences and faces south.
Even with my sunglasses on, though, I couldn't read the book I decided I was going to read out there as I ate. The effects of the dilation were making it impossible to focus on anything, especially with the sun shining right on my face. I was annoyed, at first.

So..I had to give in and simply sit there, seeing nothing, and with nothing else to fill up my brain. I am so used to always busying my brain with something to read whenever I sit alone eating or even sit outside. But this time I was forced to close my eyes and just sit there, cupping the bowl under my chin so I wouldn't spill any soup from my spoon. And when I was done, I started to really listen to the sounds of my quiet corner of the world. Daily, I hear things like birdsong and sometimes the wind, but never pay attention to it for long, really.
But today, the sounds around me--
the cardinals singing from the very top of a tree(I did peek quickly),
the blue jay's and chickadee's calls,
the scampering of the squirrels along the top of the fence (bet Jewel was noticing that!),
the distant hum of the highway traffic,
far off seagull cries,
and the music of a few neighbor's wind chimes--started to take on a rhythmic quality.
It was almost like a random back and forth symphony and I can understand how someone who is blind might be more attuned to musical sounds in everyday life.
I loved hearing the sound of the wind that made the leaves on the ground rustle lightly and the still bare trees creak as the very tops swayed. But luckily, the wind didn't touch me in my secluded, protected spot.

I also noticed how truly devoid of most human noises my neighborhood is at that time of day and this time of year. There was only the distant sound of the highway(usually not noticed when all the leaves are on the trees). Once I heard the familiar sound of the UPS delivery truck making its rounds. For the most part, it was the furry and feathered inhabitants of my suburban world who were making all the noise. Although I wouldn't call it noise since it was so lo-fi and reassuring to listen to.
I kept noticing the fluttering of wings overhead and near the house. Finally, with my head tilted in the direction I heard these sounds coming from, I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see a female cardinal taking off with a twig (or something like it--very small) in her beak from the house's gutter. Then I heard the a flurry of wings again, and noticed another one--a male, this time. They were most likely building a nest. I'll mention to J that our gutters probably need to be cleaned out, but I think I'll wait a few days at least, so the birds can use whatever they want out of there.
Eventually, I nearly fell asleep, with my head lolling back. I could have used a real deck chair to lean back in but they are still stored away. It won't be long until they offically come out of hibernation, though. And today was a nice first touch of what is to come
and a chance to slow down and just "be" for a little while.