...living in my house!While my daughter, Miss R is nearly 14 1/2 and has been exhibiting some typical teenage behavior(but still is essentially the same sweet and happy person she always was--never too moody and usually agreeable) for a few years now already, it only really struck me a few weeks ago.
I went to the school to pick her up for an orthodontist's appointment, and was about to get out of the car to go inside the school, when I noticed a tall, willowy girl with flowing hair walking in my direction and was shocked when it dawned on me that was my daughter! She looked so mature. Liked she belonged in high school.
That's because she is in high school. Have I been in denial that she has grown and blossomed into a young lady?
Add to that shock--the news last week that she was asked by a 17 year old boy(a senior in the school) to go to the Homecoming Dance. Apparently, she met him at the first football game(she's in the band, so is at all home games) and he was with her best friend's older brother. They are now Facebook friends.
She is on Facebook!! (after much begging towards the end of the summer and drilling about rules and warnings about safety from us on the internet, and both I and the husband are connected to her there and even know her password)
She walks alongside me in the supermarket, texting away on her phone.
To whom? And what is she texting?
Now, it all seems to be very innocent, and what we could gather about this ...ahem..older boy...is that he comes over to the house of her best friend often, and the parents told us he seems to be quite nice.
Still--she is not going to the dance as his date(and she accepted that info without a fight when we told her). I feel like she is going to have to wait until she is 16, at least, until she can date? Or she could at least be interested in someone closer to her own age?
At the same time, I don't want to stick her under a burka and locked in the house, but both Mr. F and I are thinking she is too young for all this. Aaarrrgghhhh..! I guess I hadn't thought about these issues coming up. And poor Mr. F has been lying awake at night worrying about this.
16 comments:
I've got nothing for you. My almost 14 year old truly looks like he's 18 and he's been playing the teenager card for way too long.
She's gorgeous, T - no wonder you guys are up night w/ concerns!
I know you didn't really say, "Trish, what's your opinion?" But, here it is: I grew up too fast and I started dating around 14. I married at 17 and I think waiting until she is at least 16 is a great idea. I would have her double date until she is at least 17 or 18. She may hate it, but she'll thank you some day.
Through out reading this post, one poignant quote came to my mind at all times. I am sure you are familiar with it, but otherwise you can read it here.;))
Have a lovely day off dear Tina.;)
xoxo
i am right there w/ you through this whole post (though my girl is 12). sometimes their maturity sneaks up you you. the whole dating thing--gah. i'm guessing we also will be making the girl wait until she's 16. the hubs and i started "dating" when i was 15 but that meant he could come to our house and i could go out w/ him in a group but no one on one car dating. he's 3 yrs older than me.
she really is lovely t!
I am glad those days are past for us. You cannot protect your kids from everything. You just have to do the best you can. Waiting until 16 in not unreasonable but can be an eternity to a young girl. Try to see things from her point of view but listen to your common sense and hope that she will too!
She really is a lovely young woman!
Actually, I wish my mother had been more restrictive when I was a teen. it is only through the grace of God that I didn't get into awful trouble!
Although I have no children (not even married yet), and I know this is an important issue, I couldn't help but smile throughout the entry. I can imagine Mr. F awake and worrying, and Mrs. F by his side accepting the fact that her little girl is becoming a beautiful teen. It must be shocking!, nice but worrying. It's nice that she accepted your dance decision. I think it shows the good communication and relationship with her parents, and the presence and concern of responsible parents.
I had my first 'boyfriend' when I was 15. We went on all of 3 dates, I believe. We used to hang out at Youth Group all the time. My parents knew each other really well from church, otherwise I am sure I would not have been allowed to date until I was 16.
I never had many boyfriends, anyway. Boys are so silly in junior high/high school. And girls are silly, too, but in a different way. Anyway, I really think 16 is a good age. Until then boys and girls should just hang out in a group setting. That makes a lot of sense to me!!
Poor, Dad, though. I know Jonathan will be the same when Emma gets there. Unfortunately for her she also has an older brother...That will be fun!! :)
She is lovely!!
Tina, I smiled my way through this post. Remembering what it's like to be a teenage girl, and being thankful that my almost-15 year old boy is such a geek (not a nerd... it's important I get it right).
Love, love, love your pics. As always.
Thanks for the feedback on this, Everyone!
I guess we have been lucky up til now with a really easy kid, and maybe I am making more of a drama out of this than I have to. We'll get through it...with some ground rules(R had a "talk" the other night).
Judy...I have to admit those photos are not mine! They were taken by my daughter--self portraits on her webcam. Arrrgghhh..she has a webcam!
(truth be told, I think the boy who asked her to the dance is a geek type, too....but he is STILL 17)
oh my goodness Mom. they grow up so fast. she is gorgeous.
I have a sister whom is 14 and older boys always seem to ask her out and the answer is NO from my parents. She does hang out with friends, girls and boys her age and such but yeah, 17 is much older even if he is a wonderful ahh boy? It must be hard to let go and to realize your kids are getting older. I know it was hard for my mom to let me go at 20 something to get married, then she had a hell of a time letting me move away, I am now 30 and she still has a hard time with me being gone, although I don't like being away either!
Just keep the lines on communication open.
I know it's not an easy job raising a teenager - having a 22 year old and a 16 year old - been there and done that.
I am so glad you only have ONE teenager at home. I usually have to put up with 25 teenagers daily! They're nice kids, though. I guess parents never realise when their little baby girl has grown into a lovely young lady and that boys start flirting her. That's only natural, Tina. Nothing to worry about. After all that boy is only 2 years older, right? By the way, I was 17 when my parents allowed me to go to my first party with Savvakis, my date then. But that was 34 years ago!
I fear I'll be in the same situation very soon...:P I think you've done the right thing by not allowing Miss R. to start dating until the age of 16... And I have to add that I'm relieved to hear she understood and accepted your reasons without extra drama...:) This proves that she's not only beautiful but a very clever girl as well... Great!!!:)
I couldn't help but smiling as well. I guess we all remember that incredible complex period of our lives. Dealing with your feelings, with girls around you (who are more or less 'grown up'...there are so many differences at that age), the boys (who want things from you, you don't know whether you want yourself...and I'm not even talking about the big stuff here...it's all so confusing), the worrying parents... it's such a difficult time.
And all of a sudden you are right in the middle of all this - but on the other side haha. Wow. I can imagine your feelings though. Are we doing things the right way...not too early, not too late...not too strict, not too loose, etc. Anyway. I cannot help you here because I have no experience at that other side. But...I'm thinking of you three!
And I think you are all three wise people who love eachother and care fore eachother and you are good in communicating (I read that in between the lines ;-). So I am positive you will be doing well!
Take care! X
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